The summer I became friends with them only happened because I thought I was straight and had a crush on Jacob. He was an older staff member at the kid’s summer camp we all volunteered at. When I first met him, he was still in high school, but not for long, and sometimes he had a beard. Always, though, his eyes were piercing green. The kind that looked at me and told me he got it, that made me feel like he was the only person in the entire world that mattered. Part of me really thought that was true; I followed him around like a lost puppy every chance I got. I went to lunch with a group of near strangers because I thought there was a chance he might be there too.

Needless to say he wasn’t there, but I still clamored for a seat in that car. There were too many people trying to squeeze into the small space, but as it rode away I was one of the few to feel the leather on my skin. Matt was the one with the car, Oliver with the big personality, and Kylie was mellow enough to balance them out while still keeping us on our toes. They were absolutely magnetic. I clung tightly enough to them that they couldn’t shake me and eventually they stopped trying.

We stole extra long lunch breaks just to drive through the pieces of town we all knew individually. Driving down streets we used to live on, stopping at each other’s houses, flying past our school, going back after lunch and feeling dizzy from the excitement. Once, we stopped at Oliver’s and he brought out a flag. Kylie and I held it up while Matt drove. The top was down, music was playing, and the flag wiggled in the wind; we could barely keep it up.

I don’t think we actually knew what was happening, but we melted into being friends. The kind of friends that go to the movies on Friday nights and then go get ice cream after just to stay together a little bit longer. Our go-to spot was Dud’s burgers; the food was just that, a dud, but the ice cream was what kept the place afloat. Sometimes Matt or Oliver would order something that was supposed to be a burger but would come out a sizzling, greasy something. I always looked away as they ate it. I sat in those seats hundreds of times with other people I thought I would die for, but it never felt as second nature as sitting with them.

We walked like gods through that building. I’d like to think that heads snapped as we walked by; everyone from kids to staff wanting to get a good look at what was there. I have no idea how we actually looked; definitely not as godly as it felt, but that is the version of the moment I held onto. Our legs moving in unison and everyone watching, even Jacob, jealous that they didn’t get to join us.

Realistically, that summer wasn’t a complete dream; it was too many warm days and sweaty skin sticking to leather seats; it dragged and dipped, it rose and fell, but it always kept in time with what was needed. I never knew what people meant when they said they didn’t want summer to end; I was always more than happy to slip into something a little more structured, but that summer, I got it. We let the top down on the car, I felt the wind in my hair, we screamed into the world and only asked to not be taken seriously for the first time.

I had never let anything burn that brightly and when it fell apart it left me blind.

By Allie Wolfe

Summer Divinity