Painting By Numbers

Painting By Numbers (By Molly Sharples)

Filling in the gaps 

the spaces between 

one of three 

then  

one of three, four, five, ten 

too close to 

midnight 

weighing heavy on me 

 I painted a canvas  

of yellows and greens 

my vision distorted  

between the strokes 

of the blankness beneath 

those yellows and greens 

abstract 

I hate this feeling  

tracing fine lines 

that don’t sit right  

but 

navigating a path between faded confidences  

comes consequences 

these visions of Thirlmere  

that was the place with the branches and leaves 

now that is the place where I paint the erosion,  

the trees  

my visions are not quite the same  

one of two 

no, one of one 

at least for me 

now 

recollections of 

spring and summer days 

where the past will all but remain 

‘with my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied,  

I am crying in the bathroom’  

well I wonder 

let's put it down to an inside joke  

that I’ll never get 

so why do I still find myself  

sat on the edge  

of a curb 

painting a picture  

looking at the great above 

feeling small 

asking why 

 painting by numbers