I witnessed the truth about my mother when I wore dirty sneakers and heart shaped barrettes.

She was dragged out of the roller-rink by two strong men, wearing nothing but a sequin dress and what I like to imagine were glass slippers. Her face revealed shame and her skinny arms would expose bruises the next day.

Failed beauty queens who popped pills and veterans who possessed nightmares of war roller-skated around me in a circle, a Bee Gees song softly murmuring in the background. They said: “Come over here and dance with me, why don’t you?” Their dark eyes revealed sin.

My mother was already gone. Her long blonde hair was out of sight and the disco ball no longer formed sparkles in her eyes. Midnight ghouls were creeping.

I imagine she was beaten in the backseat of a car or raped on a motel bed where the sheets were covered with weird stains.

“She was in trouble for being pretty or looking at men in a certain way,” is what my father told me when I received a nightmare where my mother turned into a witch and chopped my brothers and me into little pieces for a spell that made her rich.

Now, darkness inhabits beneath my eyes, a pack of cigarettes placed in the back pocket of my jeans.

It’s hard to look at my brother sometimes because he bears my mother’s brown eyes.

I stand on the same roller-rink floor.

Surprisingly, I wrote this poem in a screenwriting class for a homework assignment. I never believed I would be speaking about it again. "How Deep Are Your Scars?" is told in the point of view of my character Taryn Delaney. Growing up, Taryn was forced to reconcile with the departure of her mother. Unfortunately for her, at the end of the poem, Taryn occupies the same roller-rink as a waitress trying to make ends meet, signifying to readers how her trauma will continue to haunt her.

Besides referencing the amazing Bee Gees, I wanted to convey to readers a young woman who does not display an affectionate relationship with her mother. We are prone as a society to always hate the father, but never the mother. Pop culture has represented various films, television shows, and novels where mother-daughter relationships are often seen as pure, honest, and comforting. We cannot ignore the relationships that deliver hostility, jealousy, and hatred. Unfortunately, they exist. I pray for every woman who experiences this that they will one day find closure.

I remember being asked what exactly were Taryn's feelings regarding the absence of her mother, and my opinion remains the same over a year later as I continue to learn about her. I don't believe Taryn hates her mother for leaving. Rather, I believe she has simply accepted it.

By Chimen Kouri