Friend of a Friend: Sarah Berglund on her upcoming photobook
Interview by Cheyenne T.
Sarah Berglund is a photographer based in Toronto, Canada. Her upcoming debut photobook, Friend of a Friend, is a devotion to friendship and navigating through memories. It’s an intimate collection of photographs, journal pages, and written entries.
“I thought if I could fit them back together I could find myself in there; see some part of me that had been shoved down and suffocated, or folded and put away a long time ago.”
Hopefully, through this project, you can relish in the moment a bit more. You might even find yourself come out from its game of hide and seek. Seeing someone’s actuality surely will remind you of your own.
I’m sure you took hundreds of photos. What did the process of picking each photo look like? What did you look for in each photo?
I focused a lot on the feelings I had when I would look at them. I had big stacks of my photos on my desk that I would just flip through until I had something to say, then I'd write about it. When I didn't have something to say, those were the ones that I knew could stand alone, or the ones I should cut. The editing process got easier over each iteration - eventually I just knew which ones fit and which didn’t. I was familiar with how they related to each other. There were times I went back and found a few photos I had looked over that I could actually see fitting back into the narrative again, when it was more in place and there were little spaces I could expand into, you know, bring some outward ideas back in.
What were you feeling during the creation of Friend of a Friend? How do you feel you changed before, during, and after making FOAF?
Ah, that’s a big question. When I first started making the book I had just moved out of the city, I felt pretty isolated in my own head. I sort of forced being alone. I had a lot I needed to work out. I felt this desire to be dedicated to something, but directionless at the same time - though looking back there were a lot of practices I kept consistent, working on this book being one of them. I lived in a few different places, kept making new drafts, and near the end I had opened myself up a lot more. I shared it with my friends, got feedback. I had this understanding about it that I could back up, you know? I had a visual language to reference, I felt like, yeah, I can stand behind this. I think every artist needs to make work that's introspective before they can move outward. I don’t think it even works the other way around. I’m on the edge of that moving outward stage, so it’s creeped into the final layout of this, but yeah. I mean it’s how I chose to spend my life for three years, so it’s introspective. It felt essential to make, these feelings and thoughts I needed to let go of. I feel lighter now. I feel more creative and enthusiastic about making things than ever.
“It’s this big, vulnerable feeling to close up little parts of your life and send them away. when I started this project, I really had a hard time just being here. life can be so excruciating and nauseating and exhausting. but someday something changes, you live through something quietly, and you feel at peace. A lot of this book is me working through all these feelings. there are whole years I can tuck away quietly, and there are things that happened in between. I care about them all. ”
Were there any artists you referenced or looked to when you were curating and laying out the printing of FOAF? Who are you normally inspired by?
In terms of photographers, Olivia Bee always comes to mind. I can picture so many of her photos in my head, the urgency of friendship there. The atmospheres she can capture in certain colours always stuck with me, I really leaned into that space for this book - it’s quietly all acid green and deep blue. And Josh Kern too. It feels encouraging to see his projects, to see all the places he explores within this medium. He’s also just brutally honest in his writing, it's brilliant, I took that to heart.
The layout of the book took form from looking through photobooks I love, a ton of experimenting with drafts - just making different versions and trying out every idea that would surface. Being curious about it and having a dedication to the process - like in how I would journal or what paper I would use. Putting those elements in there. I just wanted to stay true to that aspect, keep a lot of the making in the book.
Who or what inspired the creation of FOAF?
My friends, the people around me. Photobooks by other artists that I keep in my room. My friends’ family photo albums. Porch lights and street lights and sunlight. Wanting to feel less by myself in the world. Being completely and sincerely in love. Just everything. I made a few playlists of songs I would return to while editing or looking through the pages, or just while thinking about the project.
Tell us a memory behind one of your favorite photo(s).
There are a bunch of photos I took of my friends walking home, those mean a lot to me. I would lag behind a bit, take the picture. That act of separating myself from the moment for a few seconds - being suspended in that feeling - is a strange experience I always put myself back in.
For most artists, they have an inner critic that becomes even rowdier when they are putting something out for the public to consume. How did you overcome your battle with your inner critic when making this?
Oh, yeah, there were times that would certainly come into my mind, but I made this big space in my head where I just could put it aside while I was working on the project. I also didn’t think about sharing it in any real way until spring this year, so it was this relatively private thing for a while. And I figured I’m only going to make a first book once, I want to enjoy it, make it how I would like to see it. Really I mostly just thought about what a few very specific people might think about it, if I’m honest. There are feelings in there that are hard to relive. Now that it’s done, I just love the project so I stand behind it. I figure if people like it they like it, and if they don’t they don’t, and I’m gonna do what feels right to me so at least it’s honest. Whatever that means you know. But there are a lot of people around me who are supporting it, I really feel that. It’s major.
Often when I’m planning creative projects to put out, I’m making it to make me feel something or sort through my feelings. Who is the creation of FOAF for? What were your intentions behind it?
Yeah, you can only really make art for yourself, otherwise it just doesn’t work. It wouldn’t be, you know, genuine. Or if somehow it is, you’re not going to get the validation you were looking for, by making it for someone else. It just won’t match what you had envisioned in your head. So yeah, I don’t see how you could do it another way, so I totally agree. I was my own audience on this, in that I made something I like, that I think rocks. Why else would I share it though, you know, if I didn’t think that, haha.
Share your favorite message(s) you received following the announcement of FOAF.
Anytime someone has taken the time to message me how they feel about it, or share something with me about their life, yeah, that’s just the coolest thing.
What do you hope the reader of FOAF feels and thinks while consuming it?
I hope they feel the care I put into it, a bit of warmth maybe, but beyond that, that’s not for me to say. What someone else articulates about what they find in my work will always be infinitely more interesting than anything I could say about it.
Do you have any people you dedicate FOAF to?
My friends. Everyone in the book. I also just have such gratitude for everyone who has helped make this project a reality. There are a lot of people. It’s a bit overwhelming to think about. In a good way. It’s awesome.
“ taking a photo was an act of devotion - there was no overthinking, just one definitive choice after another. it kept me engaged in the feelings of loss and gratitude, it handed me confidence, and it made me feel real. or it made the world feel real to me. maybe the distinction is irrelevant.”
What's next for you?
I still have the printing on this project to work on, and I’m so stoked for when I can send it out to everyone who’s got a copy. Beyond that, I’m enthusiastic for new projects; I would love to work with more artists, documenting and creating visual stories. I’ve started taking more photos for new personal projects. I just feel like putting this whole project together taught me a lot. It pushed me a ton. I'm just gonna continue to follow my curiosity.
Keep up with Sarah on her Instagram and help fund Friend of a Friend on Kickstarter until November 22nd. All additional funds will go towards helping print a larger edition.