Famed writer, aesthete, and gay icon Oscar Wilde once wrote that “after a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relatives.” This is a motto that my family tends to take to heart. Weather it be a 20-person Thanksgiving dinner, or a quiet weekday pasta night, we love to eat together. There’s just something about sitting down together around a dining room table that manages to fix if not all of our problems, then at least most of them. To quote my mom, “Food is our love language.”

I recently saw my parents and siblings for the first time since I moved out. Canadian Thanksgiving is in the middle of October, and my entire family on my Dad’s side has always gotten together for a big meal and a time of family togetherness. I didn’t really think that I had missed my family until we were all seated around a long table passing dishes around and laughing with each other. All of the sudden I was hit with two thoughts. 1: this is what family is all about, and 2: damn, I really miss home-cooked meals.

University food is notoriously bad. I knew that coming in. However, what I didn’t prepare myself for, was the possibility of eating the same thing every day. No joke, I have eaten the same curry four days this week. It’s actually a decent meal, but it’s still starting to get a little old. I spent a long time relearning how to enjoy food again after dealing with an eating disorder, and it makes me sad that all of this effort is kind of going to waste. It’s hard to take pleasure in the act of eating when the thing that you’re eating is always predictable. I crave variety; a surprising hint of spice, or a bit of crunch when I wasn’t expecting it. I miss being excited to come home and find out what my mom had cooked up for dinner. I miss sitting around the dinner table going over each of our days. I even miss coming home hungry and having to wait an hour until the food was ready. Sometimes, I just want to be back at home. Not so much to see my parents and siblings (sorry guys,) but to enjoy some food that wasn’t mass-produced.

That said, I have been trying to create my own community here at university. At home, I wasn’t a super outgoing person. I would see friends outside of school maybe once a week, but the majority of my time was spent on the couch or in my bedroom, alone. I’m realising now how sad this sounds. Don’t get me wrong: I had friends, I just wasn’t very good at getting up off my couch and spending time with them. Being at school has changed all of that. I’ve been making a point of eating at least one meal each day in the company of someone else; be it an old friend, someone I just met in class, or even a tinder date. I figure that even if I’m limited by what the cafeteria is offering, I can still find some way to make mealtimes enjoyable. The concept of found family is one that I hold very dear; In sharing meals, my friends truly have become family for me.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that food and family are, at least for me, two deeply entwined concepts. Food nourishes the body, Family nourishes the soul. I know, I know, that sounds like it belongs on one of those motivational Minions™ photos that my grandparents love, but it’s true. Spending time with loved ones over a meal is one of the best and most comforting things that a person can do. To my fellow college/university students out there: find your family. That group of people that you can hang out with, eat with cook with, and laugh with. Find the people who feed you, both physically and emotionally. Eating is an important act, and mealtime should not be taken lightly. Don’t let yourself fall into a rut like I have; try that new dish that the dining hall is offering. Go grocery shopping and try to make an omelette in your microwave. Do what you need to do to in order to nourish yourself wholly and completely.

By Jocelyn Diemer

Food and Family