do you see me
collage by Alyssa Kissoondath
do you see me?
The first time I saw you
I looked from one eye to the other,
Asking you to glance back at me.
I stared at the glitter stuck to your cheeks
Because it shone under the streetlights,
Not because I wanted
To see nothing but you;
Because I wanted
The angles of my face
To glimmer like yours,
Not stopping to think
About why I had never met you before,
Why we would be confined
To just months
When we never existed to begin with.
I asked before I
Set my head upon your shoulder
Instead of letting it
Fall into place
Where I dreamt it would settle in.
You would lean into my curls
Without a word,
And without meeting each other’s gaze,
We would sink
Into the divets of the sidewalk,
Where you would leave me.
And soon I would inch
Closer to you
And you would pretend not to notice
My skin against your jeans
As if it were the upholstery against your back;
As if you could ignore
The heat of my breath on your neck.
And I would trace the ridges of
Silver wrapped around your fingers,
Finding the network of lines
Set into your palm
That were said to tell fortunes,
Though I saw only minutes into the future
When I would drape my hand
Atop yours without asking,
Without giving you a moment to
Think beyond that second
When we were drifting.
And you would hold my hand
Only to anchor me
Until I felt your stillness.
I talked before you kissed me.
Spinning as you came closer,
I filled the air with words
Instead of uncertainty
That would just feel like silence
Washed away in the sea breeze.
I would taste the memory of salt
At the tip of my tongue
And you would wonder
What it tasted like.
But instead you broke
The glass between us
After I drew the windows shut.
By Maya Page